drowning in loneliness

how lonely can one actually get?

today, i forced myself to wake up at 10.30am SHARP, so that i will not be late for the seminar held in school. it's some talk where groups of students go up to stage to present what they have learnt and discovered in their overseas trip. honestly, i find it boring. although i wished i could be one of them to be sent overseas to gain the experience, i dont like sitting down on my chair for hours and hours just listening to them talk. so, i left halfway. however, after attending this seminar, i learnt more than just some national educational thing. i can now officially confirm that, i'm a loner in school. with no friends, and no one to talk to. sigh. this is one sad truth i have to accept. i attended this seminar all by myself today, because my classmates attended yesterday's seminar already. so, since i needed to fulfil the NE requirements, i had to go. once i walked it, i found a empty row of seats and sat on one of the seats. for the next few minutes, no one sat on the same row as me or even next to me. sigh. anyway, i guess i will just start to feel numb about this after a while. it's like back to primary school life for me. this sucks.

the more i think about going to a brand new class, being alone during the three hour break, it just totally breaks me down. i hate feeling lonely. i dont mind being alone at times, but definitely not lonely, or outcasted. sigh. i am definitely getting a mp3 player before school starts. DEFINITELY.