left alone

sigh. i'm feeling left out. everyone are getting ready to start school(again) tomorrow. and here i am, still blogging like there's no tomorrow. sigh. why do i have to be the "unlucky" or extra one? why is my timetable different from my classmates? why am i the one that gets transfered to another class? WHY??! this is so unfair.

everyone thinks being in design school isn't stressful. in other words, being very slack. sigh. then when you tell them you're from Dipolma in Moving Images, all the more they think it's just a course that requires you to draw, and apply. why? why does it not cross their minds that design is as stressful or sometimes even more stressful than any other courses? design needs the creative brain. the ideas. the exprience. the fun. the TALENT. who doesnt know how to memorise and sit for a test/exam? we have all done that since primary school. although it seems like we dont have tests/exams to mug for, or tight scheduled time tables, it does not mean that we dont have our problems and hard times. for me, i think to come out with a good design and to see your work being produce, is 10 times harder than studying and writing essays. what's more, we feel proud about our work at the end of the day. it's the exprience and the accomplishment, and not just whether you have a bright future ahead or not.

so..the point i want to put across is, DO NOT look down on design students. DO NOT judge them by what they are doing now, because you dont know what he/she may come out to be. being a design student does not mean we are not put under stress. it's just how we manage our time, and the passion for it. if you find what you're learning now boring, and stupid, and it doesnt interest you at all, you're dead. that's where you self-inflict your own stress.

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yesterday went out with rl, ac, vt, hj and mc. i'm surprised and happy that they all turned out. even though there were people who came late(as usual), i'm contented that they actually make it a point to gather together. this is one of the few times we can all come together to do things together. in fact, i was really surprised that rl and ac was the first to arrive. usually they will be the latecomers. in fact, i didnt expect anyone to be on time(i dont have to even think about someone arriving early), because usually i'm the one playing the waiting game. so, i want to thank rl and ac, for being punctual.

it was overall a fun day. just seeing everyone together and chatting about our different school systems, make me feel grateful that i still have a bunch of friends. even though life for me in poly is tough, and lonely, i thank god that i've made lasting friends in secondary school.(miss pl) so, we went subway to have lunch, which was around 2 plus?! sigh. i was starving by that time. gobbled my whole sandwich within 5 minutes.

ac is still mad. she's still doing that annoying thing to me - repeating the same thing over and over again, whether it's a song, or just something that comes to her mind. for example, she was feeling tired. so she started telling me, "i'm tired. are you tired? i'm tired. are you tired? i'm tired. are you tired?.." on and on and on. man, felt like sewing her mouth up! so irritating. hah..

rl and ac thinks i change alot. in fact, there are already quite a few people, whether i'm close or not to them; when they happen to see me, the first thing that will pop out of their mouth(s) is, "OH MY GOD! WEILING! YOU LOOK SO DIFFERENT!" sigh. why why why..did i really change alot?? all i did was to take off my braces, and put on my contact lens, and i look different. i'm dumbfounded. and what rl and ac said about me was that i look like an emo person. to me that wasnt a compliement. i dont want to be know as someone being emotional?? sigh. although at times i am emotional, but not everytime?! and when i am emotional, i certainly DO NOT show it to anyone. so how on earth can i look emotional? and just the word "emo" is so..act cute. YUCK.

i want to go to school. i dont want people to treat me invisible in school, please. who likes it?? but apparently, it happens naturally to me. especially in a new enviroment. am i so difficult to be with?

*TIPS. people of the world who wants to look different but not waste precious and hard-earned money on plastic surgery, you may like to try getting yourself a pair of contact lens and straighten your set of teeth.

-information provided by classmates/friends who commented on me.