i feel that i'm just living in my own small world. where i imagine everyone living in harmony, no backstabbing, not feeling inferior or whatsoever. however, this made me hate the real world. no matter how happy my small little world i dream of is, i can never be able to reach there. sometimes i really wish i can just rip off the oh, you're acceptable here mask that i'm struggling to make it stay on my face, and show my true face. show that i can be flexible, daring, outgoing and at times, challenging myself to the extreme. i hate this 'acceptable' mask that i wear on my face everyday. however, sometimes i prefer to wear this mask. at least when i wear it, it assures me that i'm someone.

(just crapping above, no big deal.)

i'm perspiring like crazy now. my sister is hogging the only source of wind in this room, and not sharing it to anyone. she doesnt realise that, but what i can do? tell her to share? that's out of the question. it comes to a point where i just have to snatch it away from her to prevent myself from getting a heatstroke. and, all she can say is "Oi! steal my fan for what?!"

woke up late in the morning today. went for lunch with my father and sisters. i dont know why, but suddenly compass point became our common lunch outlet. so, we went there, ate at the halal foodcourt, and started doing some shopping. my father went to ec house to get a 10 minutes haircut. came out looking his usual self(doesnt look cut at all). while my father was getting his hair cut, my sisters and i went walking around, looking out for nice clothes. guess what, i havent bought my chinese new year clothes yet. maybe just one t-shirt, which cost me a bomb?(to me, it's really expensive.) anyway, i almost bought a women's polo t-shirt, but i have second thoughts, so in the end, didnt buy any. went to john little after my father's normal haircut. my sisters needed to buy some undergarments. so, i went looking around for some too. in the end, i bought some undergarments too. then, headed to watsons to get my father's hair dye(brown black colour). then, it was down to cold storage to get ingredients for dinner. on the way there, my sisters stopped at some shop to get some earrings. my second sister bought four pairs of earrings at one go, and my eldest sister bought 1. i didnt buy any. i dont find any earrings nice down there. anyway, after that, finally stepped into cold storage to get the stuff we need. (i forgot to buy my soya bean!)

i'm waiting for my turn to get a chance to play the playstation for a day, but i've been waiting since this afternoon until now, and it still hasnt reached my turn. i wonder why?

i'm getting more worried each day...sighs