it's been a long time

wow! i cant even remember when was the last time i blog here
it feels like so many months have passed already
hehe...-crapping-
anyway, i feel really depress today
recently, i got "insulted"
to me, i feel really insulted, & irritated
abt something, that i really dun feel like saying
so IRRITATING! argh...
some ppl are just so insensitive
& i made lots of thinking all of a sudden
i have to catergory of ppl i noe
for one, they are really kind & trustable
i noe that when in times of trouble, they will be there
when i need encouragement, they will be there
but sometimes i really feel a barrier in between us
something that stops me frm telling them what i really feel
& that makes me very uncomfortable
the other grp, they are crazy
but i cant really be sure that when i really need them, they will be there
& i wont want to let them noe to much abt me
its just another different kind of barrier in between us
but when im with them, i cant be more of my real self
& can talk openly, not thinking that i will say something wrong
or embaressing, which makes me really comfortable(at times)
so, i really dunno which is really good
haha...just a casual & dotty analysis of the ppl i noe
those ppl who only noe how to look down on ppl(like me)
they are just invisble to me
just that their actions really piss me off
really, talking behind ur backs
i mean if they really cant keep it to themselves, then might as well tell it to me
its so irritating to hear murmruing behind ur back
& the worst is that u noe they are talking abt u?!
what crap is that? if they dare to say it, why dun dare to tell it to me
the most i just listen to it, then forget abt it
cos i noe that as long as i noe what i really am
& not what they talked abt, its all right for me
i dun really care abt anything now
i feel really outcast at times
like i dun belong to this place
its like i noe there's somewhere else where ppl are waiting for me
where they dun have "evil" ppl
anyway, tmr going to watch the np day parade
last year i participated in it
now its my turn to watch it
i bet its gonna be a really wonderful & cool parade
but thinking of wearing the uniform makes me feel abit uncomfortable
cos i dun really like to wear my uniform
cos mine is really ugly & when i wear it, its just terrible
hope tmr everything is just gonna be watching & not feeling bad
i just noe something is gonna happen
which its not gonna be very good for me?
i just noe it!
wow, its 11++ already
i havent bathe yet
heh...so dirty